


A Rite of Passage

by baloobird



Series: Ace Irondad and Spiderson [7]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Asexual Character, Asexual Peter Parker, Biromantic Peter Parker, Bisexual Ned Leeds, Bullying, Ending is cheesy as all heck, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, It's not graphic I promise, Light Angst, M/M, Ned Leeds is a Good Bro, Pining, Protective Ned Leeds, Romantic Fluff, Sexual Harassment, Slow Burn, You Have Been Warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-19 08:41:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22041520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baloobird/pseuds/baloobird
Summary: Peter is uncomfortable at the thought of kissing anyone in a closet during seven minutes in heaven. Ned, like the good bro he is, steps in and helps him fake it.But unbeknownst to Ned, Peter has been hiding his feelings for him for a while, to the point where he wishes that theydidn'thave to fake it.
Relationships: Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Ned Leeds/Peter Parker
Series: Ace Irondad and Spiderson [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1750639
Comments: 31
Kudos: 300





	A Rite of Passage

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!! So I read this fic a ways back: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19465669
> 
> And I got inspired to write this same concept except with Interwebs instead of Ironhusbands.
> 
> I had such a blast writing this, I hope you enjoy!!💜
> 
> Trigger warning: there is a scene with sexual harassment but it's not graphic and there's no actual physical contact. Also light bouts of bullying from Flash and I rated this Teen due to sex talk and some crude jokes mentioned.

Peter hates parties and not in a “hipster” way to try and sound cool.

He just doesn’t like being around a bunch of people at one time, especially his fellow peers who he’s not even that fond of, to begin with.

But nevertheless, Ned really wanted to go to this party for some reason and, like the good friend he is, Peter tags along.

The get-together hasn’t been too bad so far. The teenager isn’t really enjoying himself but it could be a lot worse, he could be the center of attention so he counts his blessings.

Peter stands towards the corner with the snacks and the cooler filled with drinks, keeping an eye on his friend who’s slightly buzzed from the beer but still coherent.

Everything is fine. People drunk, buzzed, and sober barely notice that Peter is there, and even fewer have acknowledged him.

But it all crashes and burns when one girl shouts, “Time for ‘seven minutes in heaven’!”

_Oh, God._

Before she could even finish her announcement, two people immediately jump into the closet behind her.

Peter huddles more into the snack table in the hopes to be skipped and simply forgotten about until Flash says, making sure everyone around him hears, “Hey Penis, who do _you_ wanna kiss? Or are you too much of a pussy to kiss one?”

_Okay, first of all, ew._

The spiderling rolls his eyes, “None of your business, Flash.”

“Whatever, it’s not like anyone wants to kiss you anyway.” 

_Good...but also ouch._

Ned then walks up and comes to his friend’s defense, “Flash, what makes you think _you’re_ gonna get any action after referring to women as ‘pussies’? What a gentleman, truly.” He concludes his “burn” with a slow clap of fake applause, making Peter snort so loud that he feels snot about to come out of his nose.

Flash stammers for a couple of seconds before he angrily retorts, “Fuck you, _fatass.”_

The two best friends continue laughing as the bully walks away, with Peter having to grab a napkin off of the snack table to blow his nose.

Ned says in between bouts of laughter, “He really couldn’t think of anything better than ‘fatass.’”

His fellow genius throws away the now used napkin, “He really is a pathetic excuse for an asshole.”

“I’ll say.” When both teenagers calm down, Ned asks cheekily, “Sooooo, _is_ there anyone here you wanna kiss?”

_You._

_Only you._

Peter was about to answer but then Betty rushes up to his friend, “C’mon, let’s go.” Ned doesn’t even get time to respond before he is dragged away, excitedly looking back at his friend all the while.

The hero stays in that corner for the seven minutes his best friend is in that closet, trying his damndest to avoid the flirtatious glances from the other girls that have now noticed him thanks to Flash.

_Maybe I’ll just drag Flash to the closet and kill him, that’d make one hell of a Nancy Drew book._

Ned soon walks out of the closet with Betty, hastily fixing his ruffled hair and putting on his hat. He then says while smoothing out the wrinkles on his shirt, “Dude, you’re so missing out.”

_No, I’m really not._

Peter doesn’t know how else to respond to that except a few unintelligible words, “Um, uh...uh-huh.”

The other sixteen-year-old then repeats his question from before, “So, who do you wanna go with?”

The spider-boy decides to be almost honest, “No one, seriously, no one.”

Ned looks around the room at the other students, “Really? C’mon, there’s gotta be someone -”

The other kid can’t take it anymore, _“Ned.”_

Said teen looks back at him in confusion, “What?”

Peter drags his best friend closer to the corner. He leans closer and whispers so that no one else can hear him, “I’m asexual.”

Ned takes a step back and looks at him with wild eyes, "Wait really?"

The pale teen nods his head, eyes equally as wide, "Yeah, and I really, _really_ don't wanna kiss anyone."

His friend squints his eyes in confusion, “You don’t like kissing?”

Peter groans in frustration, “I _do,_ but not with any of _these_ people, I barely know them...or like them, for that matter.”

“Dude, you gotta do it, it’s like a rite of passage, people won’t shut up about it if you don’t. Do you really wanna hear _that_ for the next two years?”

_Fuck, he’s right._

Peter presses his lips to form a thin line, deep in thought. He then sighs, giving in, “It _is_ just kissing, right, like that’s it?”

Ned shrugs nonchalantly, “Typically, but according to Brad, him and Lisa...did stuff.”

His friend’s eyes bug out in disgust, “In _seven_ _minutes?”_

“Apparently, but don’t worry, most people just kiss. You’ll be fine, seven minutes will fly right by.”

Peter takes a glance at a girl walking by and the look she’s giving him makes his blood run cold.

_If it’s just kissing then why is she looking at me like she wants to eat me?_

Ned seems to take notice of how tense his friend is and asks worriedly, “You’re really freaked out about this, aren’t you?”

Said friend erratically nods his head.

The other teenager curls his lip in thought but after a few seconds, his eyes brighten with an idea, “Well, there’s just one thing we gotta do.”

“Sneak out before anyone sees us?”

“Nope.” Ned turns to face the room and shouts so everyone can hear him, “Me and Peter are going next!”

Gasps and catcalls immediately fill the living room, making Peter’s cheeks heat up in embarrassment. He quickly turns Ned around, looking flustered, “Ned, what the fuck -”

“C’mon, dude, it’ll be fine.” The other teenager grabs his friend by the upper arm and starts dragging him towards the closet.

 _“It'll be fine’,_ are you fucking kidding me, is that beer going to your head -”

“Dude,” Ned looks at the hero, stopping in their tracks. His voice turns unexpectedly serious, “Do you trust me?”

Peter’s eyebrows shoot to his hairline in surprise, but he doesn’t take a second to think for his answer, “Yes.”

“Then I _promise you_ it’s gonna be fine.” Ned continues dragging his friend closer to that dreaded closet. 

They stop once they get towards the front and wait for their turn. It’s impossible for Peter to not hear the other kids’ whispers, “I thought they were just friends.” “Did anyone know they were gay?” “Maybe they’re just gay for each other?” Flash also chimes in with, “Oh, so Penis likes _penis.”_

Peter would be more offended at that if it wasn’t kinda sorta half true.

_God, save me from this hell, pretty please?_

He turns to his friend, “So, Ned, you want me to do this so I won’t be the laughingstock of the whole school, right?”

His friend smiles, sporting a content smile on his face, “Yup.”

“But didya take into account that people are now thinking we’re an item?”

“Peter, no one takes this seriously, I mean, me and Betty aren’t dating, Brad and Lisa barely even knew each other -”

“They went further than kissing and they didn’t even know each other?”

Ned answers neutrally, “Yeah, it’s not that uncommon.”

_I’ll never understand people with sex drives._

_What even_ is _a sex drive?_

Peter nods his head hesitantly, still trying to understand the weirdness that is non-asexual people, “Okay then...cool.”

Ned snorts before he mutters, making sure only his best friend can hear him, “You really are asexual.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You don’t get it and it’s _funny.”_

The fellow genius rolls his eyes right to the ceiling, _“What-ever.”_

His friend starts giggling, not just at the hero’s sassy response but also at hearing Flash desperately asking every girl there to kiss him only to keep getting rejected.

Then, in a bit of a blur, one couple leaves the closet and the next one walks in, but not before the boys hear more whooping and catcalling.

_Wonderful._

The closet is as tight as one would expect, with not much room to move due to the bulky coats and shoeboxes. Both teenagers are standing close together - almost too close, Peter thinks - but not enough to where they have to make physical contact.

Ned finds a light switch and turns it on, illuminating the cluttered mess of the tiny room. He then jokes, “See, isn’t this romantic?”

Peter lifts an eyebrow, _“Oh yeah,_ we’re in the same room that Brad and Lisa did sex stuff in, it’s _real_ romantic.”

“You’re never gonna get over that, are you?”

“I can’t be the only one, asexual or not, who thinks that doing sex stuff in someone else’s dirty closet with someone you don’t know is weird and gross and _weird.”_

“Okay, yeah, it’s kinda weird, just try and take your mind off it for the next six and a half minutes, okay?” Ned helps with the distraction by changing the subject, “So, still on for hanging out tomorrow?”

Peter looks at him incredulously, “How are you so cool about this?”

His best friend simply shrugs, “I don’t know, I just am, I think it’s kinda fun and you obviously don’t...for the first time in our lives, we disagree on something.”

A half-smile escapes the spiderling, much to Ned’s satisfaction. He then asks softly in case someone can hear them from the other side of the door, “So, how long have you known?”

His friend copies the tone, “What?”

“Your identity, how long have you known?”

Peter can feel his cheeks redden again and he smiles sheepishly while scratching the back of his neck, “Oh, um, I’ve known I was different like that for a while but um, I just started figuring it out this year. I mean I’m still figuring stuff out but it-it fits with me and-and yeah.”

Ned smiles in support, “That’s cool, so you don’t like - you’ve never, like...had an urge? Like, you’ve never had that feeling...ever?”

His friend shakes his head, “Nope, never, you can spend all day telling me what an ‘urge’ is but I don’t _really_ know what it is, I don’t know what that feeling is like.”

The other teen raises his eyebrows at the bombshell, “Well damn, I _wish_ I didn’t know what those feelings are, that must make life so much easier.”

Peter laughs at that, definitely not expecting that answer, “I mean, it’s got its advantages.”

Ned joins in on the laughter, “So who else knows?”

“No one, just you.”

“Wait, really? May doesn’t know?”

“Nope, May, Mr. Stark, nobody knows. This secret is more hidden than Spider-Man.”

“But why?”

“It’s not exactly a popular thing, dude. Can you imagine all the shit Flash would say if he found out -”

“I’ll just kill him -”

“Not the point, Ned, just...I don’t want anyone to know, okay? Maybe I’ll be more open with it after high school but for now, the less people who know, the better.”

Ned smiles sympathetically, “I hear ya, it does sound scary. I’m sorry.”

The other boy smiles gratefully and he casually shrugs, “It is what it is.”

“Yeah.” Ned’s eyes bug out and he frantically looks at his phone, “Oh shit, we only got like a minute left.”

“Thank God.”

“No, not ‘thank God’, we gotta make it look like we did stuff.”

_“Say what now?”_

“Y’know, we gotta, um,” the sidekick starts searching his friend’s face and after a few seconds, a thought comes to him and he starts messing up said kid’s hair. 

Peter flinches and moves back a step, almost tripping over a pair of sandals, “What the hell are you doing?”

Ned looks at him disbelievingly, “Seriously, don’t you watch TV? _Every_ makeout session ends with hair and clothes being messed up, that shit isn’t made up. Just mess up your hair and wrinkle your shirt as much as you can.”

Peter rolls his eyes but complies and starts tightly scrunching his shirt until small wrinkles form, “This is ridiculous.”

Ned waves him off, “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” He takes off his hat and starts scrunching it, along with his own shirt and hair.

“And ninety-nine percent of the population _likes_ this?”

“Yep, guess so.”

Peter shakes his head, feeling absolutely absurd, “Whack, all you people are _whack.”_

Ned snorts, “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

His friend groans as he messes up his hair one more time for good measure. Ned looks him over and gives him a thumbs-up before looking at his phone again, “Okay cool, just a few-ish more seconds, I think.”

Peter sighs in relief, “God, I can’t wait to get home.” He turns to his best friend and gives him a thankful smile, “Thank you, by the way, you didn’t have to do all this and um, I’m glad you did so, uh, thank you.”

Ned responds with that same expression, “No sweat. You know I got your back.”

-

But little did Peter know that that won’t be the last time he’d have to fake a “seven minutes in heaven” experience.

He swore he wouldn’t do it again. As grateful as he was for Ned, it was awkward, uncomfortable, and...just plain weird. He’d honestly rather take the risk of being a school laughingstock than go through that anxiety again. Shit, he probably already _is_ a school laughingstock, if he’s being honest.

So when Ned tells him at lunch the following week about another party happening this weekend, Peter rejects it immediately, _“No,_ no way, I’m still exhausted from the last one.”

His friend rolls his eyes, “Dude, stop being so dramatic, it was fine. Like I said, no one cared, they didn’t even look twice at us when we walked out.”

“Yeah, ‘cuz they were catcalling us the whole time.”

“That was just Flash trying to embarrass us, no one listens to him anyway.” Ned then says cheekily, “Okay but how funny was it seeing him not get a ‘seven minutes in heaven’ date, huh? _Huh?”_

Peter sighs defeatedly before smiling mischievously, “Okay, okay, yeah that was pretty funny, especially when he was panicking at the end.”

“See? I told you you’d have fun, and this one is gonna be equally as fun.”

“Not if I gotta go through that ‘seven minutes in heaven’ shit again.”

“Peter, they’re not gonna do the same thing two parties in a row, people will get bored of it. I promise you’ll have fun.”

“Why do you want me to go so bad anyway?”

“‘Cuz I like hanging out with you, you’re my best friend. If I went by myself, I’d be _sooooo_ bored.”

The other teen’s stomach immediately fills with butterflies. He then groans in defeat, “Fine...but if that stupid game happens again, I'm leaving the second it starts."

"Deal."

-

Ned’s assumption was proven to be completely wrong.

The host of the party hasn’t even finished his announcement and Peter is already starting to sidestep his way towards the door. Just a few more feet and he’ll be home free.

That is, until a certain annoying bully steps in front of him with a disgustingly smug smile on his face. Flash speaks up and again, he makes sure everyone around them can hear, “Where do you think you’re going, _Penis Parker,_ don’tcha wanna suck ‘fatass’s’ dick again? Or was he too ‘small’ for you?”

_God, does he have to be so crude about everything?_

_And he wonders why he can’t get a girl to kiss him._

Peter takes in a deep breath, trying to keep his anger and embarrassment in check. He then responds, “First of all, we didn’t do anything like that. Second of all, I have a curfew.”

Flash looks at him in disbelief, “At eight-thirty?”

The other teenager stays confident in his lie, “Yup, my aunt wants me home.”

The bully starts snickering, “What a ‘mama’s boy’ and you don’t even have a mom, that’s like a new kind of pathetic.”

The spiderling quickly snaps back, “At least _I_ found someone to spend ‘seven minutes in heaven’ with. Have _you_ found anyone yet, Flash?”

Said kid squints his eyes in what looks like anger, “Shut up.”

Peter casually shrugs his shoulders, biting his lip to refrain from smirking, “What, it’s just a question.”

“Fuck you, dickwad, at least I’m not chickening out. So convenient that you’re leaving _right_ when the game starts. Fatass _was_ too small, wasn’t he?”

Annoyance starts leaking out of the intern, “I’m just not in the mood to play, okay, Ned has nothing to do with it.”

“Oh, get real, Parker, _everyone’s_ in the mood to kiss for seven minutes.”

_I somehow doubt that._

“Welp, there’s a first time for everything so...bye.” Peter starts to walk past Flash but the guy grabs onto the spider-boy’s upper arm to hold him back.

The bully then says damn near menacingly, “Oh _hell no,_ you gotta do it, it’s a rite of passage -”

“I’ve already _done_ the ‘rite of passage.’” The genius rolls his eyes.

_Don’t use your strength, don’t use your strength, you use your strength and your life is over, don’t. Use. Your. Strength._

“If you’ve already done it once, then you’ll have no problem doing it again.” Flash then pulls his classmate’s arm and drags him further into the house...and closer to that closet, “I just wanna see you crash and burn.”

“Why don’tcha look in a mirror instead?” He feels his bully tighten the grip on his bicep and he is biting the inside of his mouth to keep from pulling his arm free, “Now for fuck’s sake, let go of my arm -”

“Why, are you scared -”

“Why would I be scared of someone who’s been nothing but a _pain in my_ _ass?”_ Peter continues trying to pull away but faking that he can’t. What he wouldn’t give to break this guy’s arm right now.

At that unexpected outburst, Flash unconsciously loosens his grip and the other teenager seizes that opportunity to finally pull himself free. He can feel the guy’s anger radiating off of him as Flash says, “Y’know what?”

“What -”

A third voice cuts him off, “Oh, _there_ you are, Peter.”

Ned walks up to his friend, completely ignoring Flash, “C’mon, dude, we’re up next.”

Peter looks at him, completely exasperated, “What -”

The other teen drags him away before he can say anything further, ignoring the catcalls and other disgusting jokes that Flash is shouting their way.

Ned stops them once they get to the front of the designated closet, next to a girl who’s looking at a timer on her phone. Whoever is in there now only has about two minutes left.

The teen lets go of his grip and turns to the hero, “I know you didn’t wanna do this anymore but I didn’t know what else to say to get you outta that. You okay?”

Peter lets himself try to calm down but he’s still built up from adrenaline, "Yeah, yeah I'm good, thanks for that."

"What was that even about?"

The spiderling rolls his eyes, “Flash just being gross and...Flash, don’t worry about it.”

“So, ready for 'round two'?”

The hero groans, “Guess so, are we gonna do the same thing as last time?"

"Yup."

The closet door opens and the boys walk in. This room is more cluttered than the first one and it makes Peter forever confused by how the fuck people could get turned on while they're in here.

_Again, non-ace people make no sense._

Ned turns on the light and starts off by asking a question, keeping his voice low to be on the safe side, "So, do you _like_ sex at all?"

His friend shakes his head, "Some aces do but I don't. And before you ask, no, I haven't done it, I just...never saw the appeal."

The other boy shrugs, "Yeah, makes sense. I mean, there's not one thing out there that _everyone_ likes so," he concludes his statement with a shrug.

Peter bites his lip in curiosity. He can't help but ask, "Have you, uh, have you, done it or-or anything?"

His best friend answers casually, "Yeah, a few times."

_Okay, what?!_

That’s news to the spiderling. He blinks his eyes repeatedly to get over the shock but it’s not working, “Um...really?”

Ned continues being nonchalant, “Yeah.” He looks at his appalled friend and tries to reassure him, “Relax, they’ve all been with Betty.”

That shocks the superhero even more, “I thought you said you and Betty _weren’t_ dating?”

“Oh, we’re not.” Ned rolls his eyes at the startled confusion dripping out of the intern, “To be sure you’ve heard of ‘friends with benefits.’”

His friend rolls his own eyes in response, “Duh, I’m asexual, not a prude. I just, uh, wasn’t expecting it. And okay, I don’t get it, why are you sleeping with someone you’re not even dating? Do you _want_ to date her?”

“Eh, not really, but we’re having fun.”

The web-slinger just can’t seem to wrap his head around this revelation, “You make no sense like does she wanna date _you?”_

Ned shakes his head, still being annoyingly relaxed, “Nah, we’re both just having fun being together, that’s all. Sex helps to,” he pauses to come up with the right wording, “Take the edge off, y’know?”

His friend shakes his head in bewilderment, eyebrow raised, “No, no I don’t know.”

“Right sorry, forgot, that urge you don’t get? Well, we get one and we...y’know, _take the edge off._ It’s also a good stress reliever -” 

_“Stop,_ oh my God, stop.”

“I thought you said you’re not a prude.”

Peter rolls his eyes again, “There’s a difference between knowing what sex is and not wanting to hear about my best friend’s ‘sexcapades.’ Y’know most people take baths or drink hot tea or something to relieve stress, right?”

“Eh, not as effective.”

_“Jesus Christ.”_

_“I’m just saying:_ I think it’s fun, she thinks it’s fun, we’re both not dating anyone, _and_ we’re being safe, what’s the harm?”

Peter sighs in defeat, “None, I guess.”

_They’re both consenting, non-asexual people, non-asexual people who can do whatever or whoever they want._

_For God’s sakes, Parker, stop being a prude._

Ned smiles at him, “Thanks. I’m glad I finally told you.”

“Yeah, why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“‘Cuz you’ve never talked about sex, like _ever,_ I thought if it ever got brought up, I could just say it.” Ned raises his eyebrows at the realization, “That makes so much more sense now.”

That makes his friend start to feel self-conscious, “Um, sorry?”

The other teenager shakes his head, “No, dude, it’s fine, I’m not trying to make you feel bad, I'm just curious: do you ever _think_ about it?”

Peter shyly shakes his head, too embarrassed to say out loud that it’s typically the last thing on his mind.

Ned stands corrected, "Damn, another thing we don't have in common."

The thin teen half-smiles, "Our lives would be boring if we liked _all_ the same things, right?"

"Yeah."

An awkward bout of silence floods through the closet, neither friend really knowing what to say next. After a few seconds pass, Peter blurts out, "It's cool."

"What?"

"That you're, um...that you, uh, like it and stuff, um, as long as you're happy."

Ned smiles gratefully, "I am, it's weird though, it was such a big deal but now I can't imagine myself not doing it."

_Oh...ouch._

Peter feels his face fall but he quickly picks it back up before his friend notices. He tries not to show how hurt he is, how much his heart just shattered. 

It's not like the hero actually thought he had a chance with his best friend, his _non-asexual_ best friend. Both of them are bisexual - biromantic in Peter's case - so he’s had that little shred of hope that maybe, just maybe, something might could happen between them that exceeds just friendship. 

But that one little sentence just destroyed any aspiration he had left. 

And it fucking hurts. 

Peter crosses his arms in front of him, not knowing what to do with them and going with the first thing he thinks of. He stammers for a couple of seconds before he finds his voice, “You must, uh, you must be getting used to it, I guess.”

“Yeah, guess so. Like, you remember those bogus sex ed classes where they tell you that sex is such a big deal that it changes your life forever, so you have to wait until marriage or you _die?”_

His best friend snorts, “Sorta. To be honest, I tried to tune most of it out.”

Ned snorts as well, “Didn’t we all? Well, news flash, it really doesn’t.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, like, I’m still the same person, I didn’t change, I just have sex now like ninety-nine percent of everyone else.”

Peter never thought in a million years that he could actually be carrying on a conversation about sex, of all things, with his best friend, the same best friend that he’s secretly in love with.

 _Is_ it love, though? He’s only sixteen, he doesn’t know what love is. 

Does _any_ sixteen-year-old know what love is?

But what Peter does know is that his feelings for him far surpass that friendship. The way he thinks about him when he’s about to go to sleep, or how Ned’s smile lights up a room, how he gets butterflies in his stomach when the other gives him a compliment. 

It may not be love, but the genius knows it’s definitely not platonic either.

_Well, fuck me right in the ass, n_ _o pun intended._

And since any hope of that has been sailed, he’s just going to have to move on and deal with it. At least they’re still friends, Peter thinks.

His thoughts are then cut off by the other genius snapping his fingers to get the hero’s attention, “Earth to Peter, didya hear what I said?”

Peter’s eyes widen as he gets his thoughts together, “Oh, uh, um yeah-yeah, you having sex is a normal thing, yeah.”

Ned lifts an eyebrow, “Yeah, I know. I meant that we have less than a minute left, dude.”

The other teen mentally kicks himself, “Oh right, yeah I’ll, uh, mess up my hair and stuff.”

For the next forty or so seconds, the two of them scrunch their shirts and hair, take off their jackets - Peter tries not to think about _why_ Ned has them take off their jackets - in order to look like they just had a “hot and heavy” make-out session.

_Nothing quite like making out while surrounded by cleaning supplies and Christmas wrapping paper._

_Every horny teenager’s dream._

The door opens right when they’re done and they race out, ignoring the “ooohs” and whoops from their fellow peers. Peter hears another couple walk into the closet behind and close the door as they make their way back to the snack table.

The two friends continue small talk in that corner of the room and the protege does slowly get back to normal, making sure to keep his feelings repressed deep, deep, _deep_ into his gut.

About twenty minutes later, Betty goes up to Ned and the two of them excitedly make their way to that same closet. The hero sighs as he watches his friend walk into the “heavenly” room, more than ready to go home and hide under the covers, shutting himself out from reality for the night.

He is still staring at that closet door when he hears someone walking up to him and say, “Hey, Peter.”

Said kid snaps out of his daze and turns to see Brad sporting a charming, boyish smile that Peter is positive he uses to get girls to do disgusting sex stuff with him in messy closets. 

Not that Peter is judging them, he may not understand how someone can be seduced, but he does see the charming smile and the guy has always been nice, at least from he’s seen.

So, the genius gets it but he doesn’t _get_ it.

Peter greets the other teenager, tone neutral, “Hey, Brad.”

Brad continues looking at him in curiosity, “So are you and Ned, uh -”

“No! No, um, we’re still friends, we’re just, uh...yeah.”

The other teen lifts an eyebrow, “So you’re _just_ friends who also make out in closets.”

“Um,” Peter bites his lip and scratches the back of his neck to stall for a few seconds. He then affirms embarrassingly, “Yeah...basically.”

Unexpectedly, Brad smirks, “So, you’re not with anyone?”

The intern feels his spidey sense bristle.

_Why is he asking it like that? I thought he was straight._

He then answers, albeit reluctantly, “Um, no...I’m not dating anyone.”

Are Peter’s eyes deceiving him or is Brad looking at him...like _that?_

Said kid takes a step closer to the spiderling, making the other boy’s anxiety grow and spidey sense more prominent.

Peter unconsciously takes a step back, prompting Brad to smirk again and take another step forward. He then asks, voice reeking in seduction like the spider-boy has seen in movies, “Well, how ‘bout _we_ take a whack at our own little ‘heaven’, what d’ya say?”

Peter’s eyes get so big that he wonders if they could pop right out of his head.

_Okay, what?_

_What the fuck?_

_What the fuck, what the fuck, what in the ever-living fuck?!_

He stumbles over unintelligible words, words that his brain can’t even form from how much it’s short-circuited. 

_C’mon, Parker, it’s two letters, just say “no.” Say “N-O” and he’ll walk away._

But he doesn’t know how, he doesn’t know what that word is, what it means, how _important_ it is. The teenager starts to panic and he finds himself having to tightly grip the hem of his shirt to keep steady. He then finds his voice but doesn’t say what his brain desperately wants him to, “Um, I-I-I thought you were-you were, uh, you were straight?”

Brad replies in stride, “Oh, I am, but it doesn’t hurt to,” he takes another step closer, _“Experiment,_ right?”

Peter’s stomach gurgles and he resists the urge to wrap his arm around it. What does one say to that?

Logically, he knows what to say but why can’t he fucking say it?

He takes another step back and feels his hips hit that table.

_Shit._

With nowhere to go, Peter takes a deep breath and forces the words out, “N-No, no, I’m-I’m good.”

Brad smirks again and takes yet another step closer, to the point where their bodies are almost touching, “But you were in there with Ned -”

“Yeah, and I’m spent.”

“Ned’s in there again.”

“So?”

“So, aren’t _you_ gonna share the wealth?”

Peter’s heart is racing with fear. He feels those snacks he ate crawl up his throat and he swallows to keep everything down. The teen tries not to think about what the other meant by “sharing the wealth” but it’s so obvious what that implied.

The genius can feel Brad’s alcohol scented breath on his face and tries his damnedest not to wince. He keeps telling himself that he has super strength, that he’s a _superhero,_ for crying out loud, Peter can absolutely take care of himself if the need came down to it.

But still...why is he so damn scared?

He leans back against the table, still looking defiant despite his eyes undoubtedly showing horror, “No, I’m-I’m about to go home, actually, so...no.”

Brad scoffs, “Wow, you really are as boring as everyone says you are.”

_Gee, thanks._

The jock continues, _“Buuuut,”_ he proceeds to put one hand on the table, on each side of Peter. He puts on that same charming smile that makes the other want to throw up, “I know how we can have some fun.”

_I reeeeeeally hope this isn’t how he got Lisa to do stuff._

Peter finds himself getting more confident the angrier get gets, “No, I like boring, I _love_ boring, actually, boring is great.” He looks around the room, at the twenty or so other kids that are present. Is no one seeing this right now? And _where the fuck is Ned?_

Brad just shrugs, obviously not getting the hint, “Eh, no one likes boring...I can fix that.”

Instead of responding, the other teen eyes the space under Brad’s extended arm and in barely a second, he moves under it like he’s cutting in line at an amusement park ride and sighs in relief at finally being free.

_Next stop, home. Home, home, home, home._

Peter doesn’t look behind him to see if Brad follows, he doesn’t even bother to wait anymore for Ned, he’ll just text him later. The only thing on his mind is just getting the fuck home, and no one is going to stand in his way.

However, Ned and Betty’s time is up by the time he’s about to pass that stupid closet and when they walk out, the sidekick immediately notices how freaked out his friend looks. 

Ned rushes up to Peter and stops him in his tracks, leading the intern to violently flinch at the contact. The other teen lets go and hastily asks, “Peter, what the fuck, what happened -”

 _“Home,_ I wanna go home _right now.”_

Ned tries to calm him down but to no avail, “Okay, okay cool, um, yeah let’s go.”

But before they can make their way out the door, they hear Brad shout from across the room, _“Awwww_ c’mon, Peter, why does Ned get to have you all to himself?”

At that, Ned is immediately on alert, “What -”

His best friend cuts him off in a rush, shaking in fear and embarrassment, “It’s nothing, Ned, c’mon.” He starts to drag him out the door but Ned holds back.

Said teen asks gravely, “Peter, what did he do?”

“Look, it’s fine -”

 _“No it’s not,_ what did he do?!”

To make matters _so_ much better, Brad then says smugly, “Hey, Ned, you oughta let your ‘boy toy’ come out to play sometime, I know _just_ the thing to get him...wound up.”

Ned’s face gives a look of rage, rage that Peter isn’t sure he’s ever seen before. Nevertheless, the spiderling just wants to get the fuck out of there, so he continues trying to talk his friend out of it, “Look, he’s drunk, okay, he’s drunk, he’s not even gonna remember this tomorrow, let’s just fucking go.” 

The web-slinger starts to grab the other teen’s hand but said kid escapes his grasp. Ned then blurts out, “Oh, hell no” and makes his way over to Brad.

_Oh my fucking God, I just wanna leave._

Ned walks up to Brad, making sure he keeps an arm’s length of distance between them. He doesn’t give an absolute shit as to who hears him when he shouts, “What the _fuck_ did you do to my best friend?!”

_Ned, for the love of God, stop._

Peter feels his cheeks redden as silence takes over the room, someone even stopped the music. He rushes up to his friend and tries to pull him backward by the shoulder but Ned keeps resisting. Not wanting to use his strength, the mentee finally backs off and waits for another opportunity.

Brad answers with a shit-eating grin that makes the spiderling want to web him to a wall, “I just want him to loosen up a little bit, whatever you did _clearly_ wasn’t working."

Ned continues with as much sass as he can muster, “Oh, did he tell you that? Did he, y’know, _want_ you 'loosen him up'? ‘Cuz he seemed _just fine_ while we were in that closet.”

“To you, he might’ve been fine, but for me...he’ll just come back wanting more.”

Poor Brad never sees it coming.

Neither does Peter, and he’s the one with the spidey sense.

In one swoop, Ned punches the pervert in the face, making him fall back and hit his head against the wall.

Gasps of shock and horror fill the room, none the least of which are Peter’s. He looks on as his best friend says to the dazed tormentor now sporting a nose bleed, “Don’t fucking touch him.”

Neither teen waits for a response and they high-tail it out of the house, with Ned calling his mom to pick them up. Peter can hardly think straight, if it wasn’t for his best friend’s arm wrapped around him, he’s positive that he would fall flat on his face.

When Ned gets off the phone, he turns to his friend, stopping them in his tracks, “Are you okay, did he, um...uh, did he -”

Peter, still trembling, wraps his arms around himself and shakes his head, “He-He, uh, he just said a bunch of gross stuff. Ned, why’d ya have to hit him?”

“‘Cuz he deserved it.”

“But, dude, he’s gonna be coming after you now.”

“I hope he does, I wanna punch him again.”

_“Ned!”_

“Hey, it’s the truth.” Ned softens his tone, “Are you okay, though, like-like _really_ okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine, I just wasn’t expecting it. I always thought Brad was an okay guy.”

“Same."

"Um," Peter briefly pauses to get his words right, "Do-do you think he did that to Lisa?"

"No, Betty said she was bragging about it the next day."

 _Ew, but at least_ that _was consensual._

"Good, good...um, Ned?"

"Yeah?"

"No more parties." The hero tiredly rests his forehead on his best friend's shoulder. If he never goes to a party ever again, he will have zero complaints. 

Ned replies, putting his arms around his friend's back, "No more parties."

-

“Are you okay?”

“Ned, for the millionth time, _yes.”_

“Sorry, I just wanna make sure. But you’re not just telling me that, right?”

It is lunchtime the following Monday after that fiasco that is the party and it’s about as awkward as one can expect.

Ned has been wracked with guilt over what happened and no matter how many times his best friend reassures him, he can’t resist asking every three seconds if Peter is okay.

Brad actually apologized to Peter, surprisingly enough. Granted, it was a half-assed apology that he just blamed solely on the alcohol he consumed but at least he acknowledged what he did was wrong and honestly, the spiderling was expecting much less.

Nevertheless, things are going to be awkward and uncomfortable between them for the rest of high school.

_Lovely._

And if Peter puts in extra effort to make sure he’s never in a room alone with Brad, well, can anyone blame him?

The hero resists the urge to roll his eyes at his friend. He knows Ned means well, but God, he just wants to put that awful nightmare to rest. He then answers, trying not to sound annoyed, “No, I promise I’m fine. Look, it could’ve been a lot worse, okay? But it wasn’t and Brad even apologized sort of, so I just wanna stop thinking about it, alright?”

Ned slumps his shoulders, “I’m sorry, I just, I hate that it happened and I feel bad -”

“Please don’t, I told you already it wasn’t your fault.”

“I made you come to the party.”

“But you didn’t know Brad was gonna...be awful. We didn’t know what was gonna happen, I would never blame you in a million years, man.”

Ned smiles at the reassurance, “Okay, okay, I’ll drop it but I’m still sorry, I hate Brad with a passion.”

“Yeah, get in line. Has he ever done that with anyone else?”

“Not that I know of but judging from what you told me, it sounds like it wasn’t his first ‘rodeo.’”

“For fuck’s sake -”

“I know.” To avoid getting angrier at the guy and making his friend any more uncomfortable, Ned changes the subject, “So, Betty is having a party in a few weeks -”

This time, Peter does roll his eyes, “If you’re asking what I think you’re asking -”

“If you don’t want to, that’s okay, but there’s not gonna be a ‘seven minutes in heaven’ thing this time, I promise.”

_What’s with everyone having parties lately, jeez._

“You said that last time.”

“I know but Betty said she’s kinda burnt out on it so there’s not gonna be a ‘seven minutes in heaven.’ Maybe you can finally enjoy yourself.”

_Um, my version of enjoying myself is watching conspiracy theories on YouTube for six hours but go off, I guess._

“Dude, if you’re just gonna be making kissy faces with Betty the whole time -”

“Relax,” Ned rolls his eyes, “We’re not into PDA.”

“Oh, that makes me feel _so_ much better.”

“Peter, I promise I won’t leave you out to dry.”

Said kid is now hating himself because he’s actually kinda sorta tempted to go to this party.

But why though? Because he likes Ned, because he likes hanging out with Ned...because he _wants_ to hang out with Ned? 

Because he’s actually a masochist and likes _torturing_ himself by being around Ned?

_Eh, probably._

However, there is one thing standing in the way of him for sure going to this party, “Ned, if Brad’s gonna be there, I can’t -”

“Don’t worry, Brad’s not invited.”

“Like that’s gonna matter, someone will just bring him anyway.”

“I’ll just punch him again -”

“Not helping, Ned! I just, I don’t wanna go if there’s a chance he’s gonna be there.”

Ned rubs his hands together in thought. After a few seconds, he asks, “So, if we took Brad out of the equation, would you want to go?”

“Um...kinda?”

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes.’” The friend ignores the groan that escaped the intern and continues, “So how ‘bout a compromise: we go to the party, and if Brad’s there, we leave, we leave and we, I don’t know, go get ice cream or something.”

_Can’t we just skip the party and go straight to the ice cream?_

Peter sighs again, taking a couple of seconds to think. He then shakes his head and says reluctantly, “I don’t know, man, I already see Brad enough at school, I just -”

“How ‘bout we skip the party and just go get ice cream?”

_Holy shit, did he just read my mind or something?_

Despite that being exactly what he wants to do, the intern shakes his head again. Ned really wants to go to this thing and he would feel awful if he had his friend bail out because he’s scared of something so stupid, “No-no, um, let’s do it, but I don’t wanna stay if Brad’s there.”

Ned smiles with enthusiasm, “Deal, done and done.”

-

Well, good news, Brad isn’t there.

And also good news, there is no game of “seven minutes in heaven.”

Instead, the game of choice is so much worse.

Peter feels his whole body get prickly with goosebumps the second he hears Betty announce, “Time to play ‘spin the bottle’!”

Spin the bottle.

Spin the fucking bottle.

_Fuck...fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck._

_Why are teenagers so obsessed with kissing?!_

Peter takes back every single thing he ever said about “seven minutes in heaven.” At least with that game, you can do whatever you “want” behind closed doors.

But with “spin the bottle”, you have to kiss someone, out in the open, while everyone else is staring at you, _judging_ you.

_Why do people like this game again?_

The spiderling looks over at his best friend and gives him the most menacing look he’s ever shown. The excitement in said friend’s face falls immediately, “I’m sorry, I’m _really_ sorry, I swear, Betty didn’t tell me anything about this -”

“I’m gonna kill you.”

“I probably deserve it -”

“You _definitely_ deserve it.”

“Well, you gotta do it, it’s another ‘rite of passage.’”

_I hate that phrase so fucking much._

“I don’t give a shit and I don’t care if I become a ‘laughingstock’, I’m leaving -”

Betty cuts him off by saying, “Hey guys, c’mon, we’re starting.”

_Fuck, I’ve been noticed._

_Curse Betty for being a nice person._

Ned whispers in the other’s ear before they join the circle, “Just relax, I know what to do.”

His friend copies the tone, “What?”

“Just trust me, I got this.”

It is taking everything in Peter not to roll his eyes, mentally preparing himself for the worst as he settles into the circle with about ten other people, his best friend sitting caddy-corner to him.

Someone spins the empty beer bottle in the middle and the game begins.

“Parker luck” is in the teen's favor for the first several rounds but it’s only a matter of time.

Couple after couple crawl to the center of the circle and give each other kisses, some even manipulate the outcome by purposefully pointing the bottle at someone they’re pursuing.

Ned and Betty are no exception there.

But after a minute, Peter finds himself staring down the receiving end of that fateful beer bottle. He then looks directly across at the person who spun it.

A girl named Emily.

A girl that he really doesn’t want to kiss named Emily.

Peter nervously swallows as he takes a second to prepare himself. It’s just one kiss, he thinks, it’s not even really a kiss, it’s barely a peck on the lips, just suck it up and do it.

_C’mon, Spider-Man, it’ll be over before you know it._

Just like with the other teens, the genius crawls and meets the girl in the center of the circle. He tries to tune everything and every _one_ out as he closes his eyes, puckers his lips...

And goes for it.

_Huh, this isn’t as bad as I thought. It’s actually kinda nice._

Peter accidentally opens his eyes mid-kiss and they bug out so wide in surprise that he quickly lets go and stumbles back into his spot.

Because the person he kissed wasn’t Emily.

He was kissing _Ned._

_Okay, I know I’m bad at this love stuff but there’s no way in hell I made a mistake that huge._

His best friend apparently crawled to the center as well and butted in before the other two teens could kiss.

Ned kissed him so Peter doesn’t have to kiss anyone.

The spiderling suddenly feels those butterflies swirling in his stomach like all the other times before. He gets this warm, fuzzy feeling of happiness deep in his chest and he’s not sure if he ever wants that go away.

_This is totally what cloud nine feels like._

The other kids immediately get angry and start verbally charging at Ned, “What the fuck was that?” “That’s not how you play.” “Ned, what the hell?”

But the teenager in question just answers, completely relaxed and satisfied, “When are you gonna get it through your thick skulls, I’m the _only_ one that Peter wants to kiss.”

Flash - how does _he_ still get invited to parties? - pipes up unsurprisingly, “That’s not how the game works, dumbass, everyone kisses everyone -”

“But there’s always exceptions. Why do you think Peter only plays ‘seven minutes in heaven’ with _me?”_

Emily assumes, “So you guys _are_ together.”

“No, he just has standards, and let’s be frank: it’s hard to beat _me.”_

_How is he as cool as a damn cucumber right now?_

Peter grabs the collar of his shirt and covers his mouth with it, both to refrain from giggling and to hide at least some of the reddening forming in his cheeks.

God, what did he do to get a friend like Ned? Peter has got to be the luckiest person in the world.

And that kiss was nice...that kiss was _very_ nice, in fact.

The group then settles down and accepts the no doubt weird situation that is Peter and Ned. Every time the bottle points to the spiderling or he has to spin, his best friend is always there to kiss him in the place of somebody else. 

And each kiss gets better than the last, to the point where Peter is _hoping_ for the bottle to land on him again, wishing that his friend would manipulate the object to go in their favor.

While everyone else is distracted, the mentee gives his friend a grateful smile, one that lets him know that he appreciates the gesture and loves him for it...as a friend.

Unfortunately.

Ned returns the smile with one of his own, one that makes his friend’s heart go pitter-patter.

And that doesn’t change for the rest of the game, when Peter gets home, even after he turns off his lamp to go to sleep. The last thing he thinks about before he nods off is Ned, Ned and those amazing kisses, those kisses that he wishes he could go back in time and relive.

_Whatever this is, it sure as hell ain’t platonic._

-

As fast as that euphoric feeling came, it went.

The spiderling can no longer repress his feelings like he used to, it’s like “spin the bottle” did nothing but exacerbate them and it’s swallowing him whole.

And he hates himself for it, he hates that these feelings will never be requited, hates that he even has these feelings at all.

And even if there was a shred of a chance that something could happen between them...Peter can’t give him what he knows Ned wants.

And that kills Peter more than anything.

Why does _he_ have to be so different? Why does he have to inwardly cringe whenever sex is brought up? Why does he have to feel so weird when he learns that his fellow peers are having sex, an activity that literally ninety-nine percent of the population does, did, or will do?

Why does he have absolutely no desire to do it? Why does he not want to do it in a world where everyone else does?

He could fake it, Peter thinks, he could pretend to like it for Ned’s sake. If it made him happy, he would do it.

Peter has thought about that a lot...an embarrassing amount of times, if he’s being honest. 

But no matter how many times he does, the spiderling quickly pushes those thoughts out of his mind. Despite how much he loves his best friend, how much he’s _in_ love with his best friend, he can’t bring himself to go through something like that.

He’d hate himself forever, no one wants that. Plus, there’s no way Ned would ever want to do it, knowing Peter’s secret, he’s too good of a person to put the other through that.

So the intern has to get it through his own thick skull: him and Ned don’t have a chance in hell, and Peter has deal with it. 

But with that being said, the web-slinger still likes pain, apparently. Whenever Ned is available to hang out, Peter is there, he’s there because he likes being around him, he likes how funny his friend is, nice, respectful, nerdy, dorky, he loves everything that just _encompasses_ Ned.

And like the masochist he is, the intern thinks that he could totally cure these feelings by constantly being around the subject of his affections. Yeah, that’s a good idea, right?

So the next time Ned even hints at a possible party, his friend jumps at the chance to go, with the exception of if Brad will be there. Peter wants the “seven minutes in heaven” game to play again, and even though he knows nothing will happen, he wants to be alone with him, to playfully pretend that there’s something between them.

Or better yet, Peter hopes to play “spin the bottle” again so that he can kiss his best friend once more, that was especially amazing.

Said teenager confirms one day a couple of months later when Ned says, “You don’t have to go to the party if you don’t want to, I know how you are -”

“No, I’ll go.” Peter clears his throat in an effort to tone down his excitement, “Um, if Brad’s there, can we, um, go get ice cream or something instead?”

His sidekick smiles, “Of course, dude. Hell, we might just do that anyway.”

There’s that pitter-patter making itself known again as the other boy lets out a slight nervous giggle, “Uh, yeah...yeah, same, love ice cream.”

-

That weekend, the party commences sans Brad, to Peter’s relief. When the obligatory “seven minutes in heaven” game is announced, the teen resists the urge to smile.

Peter feels silly for getting so excited over practically nothing - all they’re going to do is shoot the shit anyway but he’s going to be in extra close proximity with the guy he’s secretly sorta kinda maybe possibly in love with.

And well, this is as close as he’s going to get to such a relationship so the hero is milking this for as long as he can.

Peter turns to his friend and whispers, pretending that he’s dreading the inevitable, “So, ‘round three’?”

Ned shrugs, “‘Fraid so, we can just do what we did last time.”

The other teen nods his head so fast that he feels like a bobblehead, “Cool, cool...yeah, cool.”

The other genius lifts an eyebrow in bemusement, “You okay, man? Nothing’s gonna happen, I promise.”

Peter nods his head again, making sure to stop himself this time, “No no, um yeah, yeah I know, I’m good. I just, uh, wanna get it over with, I guess.”

Ned smiles at the awkwardness, “Wanna go get ice cream after?”

“You don’t wanna stick around?”

The other teen casually shrugs again, still smiling, “Nah, I’m kinda getting sick of all these people, to be honest.”

His best friend can’t help but blush.

 _But he’s not sick of_ me.

And Peter must be way too “head over heels” because he could swear that Ned’s smile lingered for just a few extra seconds before looking away.

_For fuck’s sake, it’s not gonna happen._

Ned drags him to the front and before Peter can start overthinking every single facial expression that's shown on his friend's face, they’re rushed into yet another cluttered, messy closet.

Peter certainly hasn’t missed _this_ part of the “seven minutes in heaven.”

The atmosphere is unexpectedly tense for some reason and the teenager can’t figure out why. He looks at his friend and sees him shifting from foot to foot complete with an uneasy expression on his face.

That’s odd. Peter has never known the guy to be claustrophobic, he never acted like this the previous times they were in a closet. And nothing really smells weird aside from the winter coats and scarves reeking with cigarette smoke, but it’s manageable.

The teenager asks his friend in concern, “Ned, you okay, man?”

Said kid wordlessly nods his head, eyes moving all over the room in what the other guesses as serious thought.

Peter replies, confusion evident on his face, “Um...okay, cool.”

_Does he really have to pee or something?_

But the teen didn’t have to think for long when his friend blurts out suddenly, “I love you.”

Peter trips over a pair of boots, forcing himself to rest his hands on the wall to keep from stumbling over.

_No way._

_No way, no way, no way._

The hero really is in too deep if he just heard what he thinks he just heard.

With both hands still flat against the wall, Peter looks down and takes a few deep breaths, talking himself out of what he thought was said.

_God, I gotta get outta here, I can’t do this, I can’t, I can’t._

But then Ned removes all doubt when he continues, not near as confident as he was, “Look, it’s okay if you don’t like me back, I just, I had to tell you, I wanted you to know.”

_Wait, what...WHAT THE FUCK?!_

Peter lets go of the wall and faces him directly, completely rocked by the confession. He wasn’t hearing things.

His best friend just confessed his love for him.

For _him,_ for him as in Peter, Peter Parker, _he is in love with Peter Parker._

Ned Leeds is in love with Peter Parker.

And Peter Parker, for some damn reason, can’t wrap his mind around it.

Instead of saying “I love you too” like his brain wants him to, Peter asks, still in shock, “Um, how, for-for how long?”

He sees a redness creep into Ned’s cheeks and _God_ is it the most adorable thing in all of existence. Peter just wants to stare at that face forever...and ever and ever and ever.

Ned then answers, “Uh, since ‘spin the bottle.’”

“Wait, really?”

The friend nods his head, smile slowly getting wider, “Yeah, um...oh, c’mon, don’t tell me you didn’t feel it too?”

“What?”

“Look me in the eye and tell me you didn’t feel something when we kissed.” Ned locks eyes with the other teen, “Peter, tell me you didn’t feel a thing.”

_Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod..._

Peter doesn’t respond, he doesn’t know _how_ to respond, what even are “words”?

He timidly scratches the back of his neck and looks away from the other’s gaze, a ghost of a smile forming all the while.

Which doesn’t go unnoticed by his friend, now grinning from ear to ear, “I knew it, _I knew it,_ I knew you felt it too, oh my God, you like me back. Wait, _do_ you like me back?”

Peter nods his head like a bobblehead, once again, smile growing exponentially, “Yeah, I...I like you too, I-I _love_ you too.”

Ned starts giggling hysterically as he leans against the wall behind him, the wonderful sounds being so contagious that Peter follows suit, his own cheeks reddening to the color of a tomato.

When the other teen calms down, Ned asks, “For how long?”

“Um,” the spiderling can feel his cheeks flush even more, “Awhile.”

Ned’s eyebrows furrow in confusion, “Oh my God, seriously?”

The other kid nods his head, embarrassment sweating out of him, “Yeah I, um, I didn’t think you’d like me back ‘cuz, um, we’re best friends and I was worried that might screw it up, and...I’m asexual and you’re not, how’s that gonna work -”

“I don’t care.”

Peter’s eyes bug out, “But, Ned, you said yourself you can’t imagine not having sex -”

“I was an idiot.” Ned pauses to take a breath, “When I realized this,” he gestures to the two of them, “I didn’t think twice about it, I didn’t have to contemplate it or anything. I love you too much to care about that.”

_Oh my God, is he serious, somebody pinch me._

“But like, if you want to do it, I can’t -”

“Peter,” Ned fondly rolls his eyes, “If I get an urge, I’ll deal with it, but trust me, I. Don’t. Care. I’d rather Netflix and _actually_ chill with you than do anything with anyone outside that door...or anyone in general.”

“But Betty -”

 _“Especially_ Betty, Betty means nothing to me. Peter, I know you’re insecure about this, but you don’t need to be.” 

Peter is, for lack of a better word, stunned, “I just, I can’t believe you’re so cool about this.”

“Why _wouldn’t_ I be cool about this?”

“Ned, do I really need to spell it out for you, dude?”

The teen in question steps a little closer to his friend - are they even _friends_ anymore? - and says, “Peter, I promise _I don’t care._ If I cared, if I wanted sex in a relationship, I wouldn’t be doing this.” He grabs Peter’s hand, making the hero get that warm feeling of happiness like before. Ned continues, more serious and excited than he’s ever sounded, “Peter, do you want to do this? Do you want to give this a shot?”

Peter beams. He’s scared of what’s to come, has this irrational fear that Ned might change his mind somewhere down the line.

But lucky for him, the logical part of his brain is overtaking the rest of his brain for a change. 

He lets himself get excited, because he’s wanted this for so long and finally it’s here, and Ned is standing here being sweet and wonderful and just so damn _cute_ that Peter can’t resist giving him a hug and say, “Of course I wanna do this, you idiot.”

They laugh again as Ned reciprocates the embrace, looking just as excited, “Oh my God, like what do we do now?”

They separate as Peter answers, “I have no idea.”

The other teen giggles in agreeance, “Um, do you still wanna get ice cream? To like, celebrate or something?”

The hero eagerly nods his head, “Yeah-yeah, sounds great, um -”

“What?”

“Can I um,” Peter takes a couple of seconds to nervously force out his question, “Can-Can I kiss you? I-I-I really, _really_ wanna kiss you.”

 _It's literally all I've been thinking about._

His now _boyfriend’s_ eyes brighten, “Not if I kiss you first.”

Ned had barely finished his statement when Peter quickly gives him a peck on the lips. The other teen follows suit and gives him one. Then they give each other another one...and another one.

_This is so much better than “spin the bottle.”_

They never go so far for it to be considered as “making out” but they keep giving each other those cute little kisses for the rest of their allotted time.

They are mid-kiss when the door opens to indicate that time is up, but they don’t process it until their peers start giving them whoops and catcalls, causing them to separate in surprise. 

But they don’t find themselves to be the least bit embarrassed.

After all, “seven minutes in heaven” _is_ a rite of passage.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! I'm also on tumblr: @baloobird


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